Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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