Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
