can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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