Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
pop tarts are not kleenex
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
