New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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