i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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