Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
