Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
