I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
