I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
