Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
