just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
