Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
