the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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