This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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