I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
