When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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