Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
