ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
