she kept yelling 'call me bella'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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