apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
