it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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