My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize