I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
