So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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