he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
