Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
