Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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