We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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