Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
