The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
