The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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