you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
