I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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