no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
