I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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