Are we in a gay sports bar?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
