If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
