i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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