For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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