You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize