even my farts smell like vagina
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
