There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
