we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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