Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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