boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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