i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
