So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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