he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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