piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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