You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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