i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
