he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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