I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
