dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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