So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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