Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize