you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
