you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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