How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize