So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize