i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
