so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
