we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
