Please, let me fuck your mom
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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